No, Your OTHER Left!
by Blue Raspberry Ametrine
Summary: Spherius rants in his diary after his encounter with Oversphere. One-shot.


**Okay, so I've wanted to write this one for a while. It's based on the Sphereland movie, and not the book; I'm sorry. There just isn't a Sphereland in the movie section, so I apologize if I have inconvenienced you. I think it'll be easy to catch on though, and I got a bit of influence from the book.**

 **So, this is his diary entry after he gets 'flipped' in the fourth dimension, causing him to, everytime he tries to go one direction, he goes the other. I thought this could be a funny story, so I went ahead.**

 **Also, I don't own Flatland, Sphereland, or any brand names mentioned.**

 _ **March 13th, 3020**_

 _ **1:30 AM**_

Oversphere is a jerk.

You may be wondering who this Oversphere is, or why I'm writing this like Leo of old, flipped like a mirror. (You also may be wondering why I'm 'talking' to you like you're an actual human solid.)

While going for my daily stroll, I decided to take the scenic route and went through the Knot Nebula, when I encountered another Sphere.

I was surprised, because of how rare other Spheres are. But she wasn't even a Sphere at all, but a four-dimensional _Over_ sphere, and she went by this name. She would seem to stretch and shrink, something no regular Spacelander can do.

She showed me the fourth dimension after a quick chat. My, it was the most extraordinary thing! Despite the trouble she has caused me, musing on our 'little adventure' still brings me great joy.

As hard as I've tried, I can't describe it. I know that seems lazy, but I truly have. The fourth dimension just isn't something that can be put into words.

This seemed similar to my adventures in Flatland, doesn't it. I made that connection myself; how she converted me to a believer. I thought she would just shrug it off. She seemed very smart and wise, friendly and peaceful, and those beautiful golden eyes… ah, I can't waste time with these trivial remarks. Appearances don't matter. I should know that myself… sigh.

I was completely wrong about how she reacted. I don't know how things work in, um, Over-spaceland? But she was _not_ a respectful human solid here. Instead of laughing at my story, she started yelling at me about how _I_ was in the wrong!

She said that it was wrong for me to show a Flatland the truth of my dimension, but deny him that higher ones could be real. Well, excuse me for not believing in something I can't see. Besides, maybe I was offended on how hard it was to get Arthur, and all the others for that matter, to stop thinking I was one of their circle priests!

I tried to calm her down, and I apologized. But she can't take a compliment. I assumed she was some sort of deity, and called her divine. Apparently, she isn't. And then, she threw me around in the fourth dimension so hard I landed on the wrong side! I found myself bumping into everything, and going left when I meant to turn right!

I pleaded with her to undo this, and she wouldn't listen, and told me the way I could was to find the center of Flatland. But how am I supposed to navigate if everything's reversed? There's a portal there, and she said it would leave if I didn't get there fast enough.

Wait, she did babble a bit about how changing was up to me changing my world view. I don't see anything wrong with myself though. I know that sounds really stuck-up, but I'm not! I know I do have some flaws, but aren't they persuading our young to be confident? Why can't _I_ feel good about myself?

Anyway, that cur left me there, and I had to find my way out. You know how hard it is to navigate when everything is reversed? It took me hours just to find my way out of the Nebula, and by then it was almost sunset.

I thought I was getting home when I found a street, but it turns out I had accidentally gone to the left side! Urg!

I bumped into everything. I was covered in bruises by the time I had finally made it out, and I didn't want to go back through the whole thing just to get lost again, so I decided to start this thing early. I dialed a cab, and asked the man to take me to Flatland.

He was surprised to see me; a distinguished figure looking as if he had just gotten a fight. I knew nobody would believe me, so I told him a friend and I had gotten into an argument that got physical. He just sighed and told me the ride was on him.

I was so happy to get to sit down, and have someone else do the driving. I closed my eyes and tried to think about something else while I could; let my mind recover from the constant compensation.

Unfortunately, he also said that was too far away, and it was getting dark anyway. I was miles away from my home. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep just then. So with a sigh, I told him just to take me to the nearest hotel.

I knew I probably didn't have much time. But I wouldn't be able to search for this 'center' if I felt like someone had punched me. The driver was friendly, but eventually realised I didn't want to talk. I wasn't trying to be impolite, I just didn't want to think about anything right then. I still feel like a piece of crud.

Eventually the car pulled over at the hotel. It looked like a nice place, I'll admit. I thanked him, and gingerly went to the front door.

Now, when I walked in, I could hear a lot of noise and music. As I bumped into the small coatrack, the cube-lady at the desk told me there was a music festival going on, but it should be over soon. And if on queue, human solids dressed in rather strange clothing poured out.

I was in panic. How would I find my way around this mess? I'd probably end up in Russia before I made it to my room. But I stayed calm as much as I could.

I requested for the closest room available. She looked over her computer, trying to find somewhere with minimal turns, but the nearest one was on the second floor. I sighed, and accepted it. I grabbed my key, and waited on the bench for the crowd to clear so I could continue to my room.

After what seemed like forever, the crowd cleared enough so that I could walk down the path. Of course, I took the wrong path.

A few minutes later, I find myself in my room. I'm so exhausted by now, I just flopped on the nearest bed.

I tried to get to sleep for a good while, but I couldn't drift off as hard as I tried. Then I realised why: I was famished. I had wasted all that energy, and I hadn't had anything to eat since lunch except a pillow mint.

Obviously, I didn't want to have to get out of my room to get food, and look like even more of an idiot. But there didn't seem to be any other option, so I forced myself to leave the room.

The lady from earlier was still at the desk, and it was obvious she, like I, was dying for a rest. I asked her where the nearest restaurant that was. She told me that there was a Mcdonalds just down the street. Despite their low-quality food, I decided this was the best options.

I had gotten the control of turns if I paused to think about it, but instant turns would take some work. In the morning I can practice some more. Anyway, I had made my way to Mcdonalds quite easily.

But inside was a different story. You see, they were going through a renovation. How you can renovate a place like Mcdonalds, I don't know. But there were sharp objects everywhere… and I kept bumping into stuff.

The only three human solids working that late were looking at me. The same thing with the only three eating inside: all policemen.

So there I was, crashing into sharp objects and scraping myself on concrete, with Police Officers looking at me.

I made it halfway into the maze to ask for something to eat; by now I could hear my stomach growling. Just then, one of the policemen walked up to me.

He said "Sir, I'm going to need you to take a breathalyzer test."

So I stood there, with everyone looking at me puffing into the tube. I was just done with this day, and I had tears streaming from my eyes, and cursing Oversphere's name in my head.

Thankfully, I'm not drunk. If I was, I'd probably be completely immobile. The Policeman asked if I got injured; if that's why I was stumbling around covered in bruises. I told him I got into a small fight, but managed to sort things out, and there was nothing to worry about. Although probably suspicious, he just nodded and walked back to his big mac.

The man at the cashier was dirty and had pimples dotted across his face. Looked like the kind of guy that'd be called 'dude.' He told me "I feel ya, man. I'll get you anything you want."

Now, I appreciate the free favors. I only have a bit more than enough for the hotel on me when I go for a walk. (For emergencies only.) But it's starting to get embarrassing. Not wanting to make him pay too much, I just ordered a thing of chicken nuggets and fries, even though I desperately wanted a coffee.

He handed me the bag of edible grease before going to the bag. I sat down at the booth the farthest away from the policemen, trying to conceal my cheeks, which were probably bright pink.

I consumed my meal with as quick as possible. Normally, I hate the taste of Mcdonalds, but my extreme hunger made it taste amazing. If I could have any meal again, it wouldn't be that. But that may have been a second choice. In that moment, it was an amazing escape from my current problems.

Twenty minutes I was back in my room. Everyone else was fast asleep, but my mind was restless. It was about 12:30 about then. I am known for being thoughtful and logical, but I felt so jittery, and helpless. It was so hard, so I flipped on the TV and watched an hour of infomercials just to escape. I would have prefered a book, but I wasn't going back outside just too grab a book.

So here I am now, writing here in reverse. This was the worst day of my life. But at least I get to waste a Monday on this, and not a weekend. I guess that's a bright spot.

I'm extremely tired, and I can't get to sleep. I'm panicking. What if that portal goes away like she said before I get there. I can't waste time on sleep, but even caffeine can't erase how exhausted I am.

I just want to find her, and get her to flip me back. I'm sore all over, and my mirror shows me bruises. It also shows me that my appearance are flipped! I know people tell me I look pretty much the same, but I have been able to pick up very slight differences.

I can't wait for Continental Breakfast. Free food without feeling bad! Now, I need to try to get to sleep. Although I think Oversphere is going to haunt my dreams.


End file.
